Who Killed the Last King?
Who killed the last King?
I, said the Witchlord,
With my eldritch horde,
I killed the last King.
Who saw him die?
I, said the Snowman,
As his tall sails sank,
I saw him die.
Who’ll make the shroud?
I, said the Elfwright,
Of cobweb and twilight,
I’ll make the shroud.
Who’ll dig his grave?
I, said the dwarf-smith,
In the darkness beneath,
I’ll dig his grave.
Who’ll keep his blood?
I, said the chieftain,
For an age and a season,
I’ll keep his blood.
For the most part the past few months I’ve been working on Return to Sagaia, but for NaNoWriMo I needed a break. I wanted to try something wholly new, and about a week before NaNoWriMo started, somehow “cozy mystery” and “Tolkien” mashed up my head, and from that pulp burst forth a new character: Perry Flockfoot, hobbit detective.
I’ve never had an impulse to write Tolkien fanfic before, but I’ve written plenty of other fanfic. But I generally write fanfic because there’s some aspect of the original work that I find lacking, or that I desperately want to explore more deeply. Tolkien never inspired me that way; he already put so much thought and care into his world and characters that there was nothing for me to add. But the Shire is the perfect setting for English-style murder mysteries: you could take any episode of Midsomer Murders and plop it right down in the Shire with hardly any changes. The idea was irresistible.
The only issue is that, of course, hobbits do not commit murder. It would be unthinkable! A hobbit detective would be stuck solving mysteries of missing pies and silver spoons. Nefarious, no doubt, the stuff of high drama and family feuds. But I wanted to write murder mysteries. So… I set the stories in Bree, where there are lots of people who are not hobbits, and all sorts of murderous business can be afoot.
Bree is a great location for another reason. Tolkien intended Bree to have a sort of Celtic flavor, wanting to make it similar but different to the extremely English countryside of the Shire. For example, the names of the places in the Shire are all of Anglo-Saxon or Latinate origin (Bywater, Michel Delving, Woody End), while the names in Bree have Celtic-like elements (such as Bree itself, which recalls Welsh bryn, “hill”; or Chetwood, which is similar to Welsh coedgwig, “forest”). Setting the stories in Bree allowed me to explore that Celtic flavor more. Here’s a list of some words and names I came up with for the stories:
- Farraig. In charge of the wall wardens, and helps with other matters where guards are necessary. From Irish fear rig, i.e. man-king (compare beanri, woman-king). The rig is effectively in the genitive, so “man of the king”, the King’s Man. Inherited position, although he can be removed and replaced by the Drishog if forced by a vote.
- Drishog. If the Farraig is the executive, the Drishog is the judiciary. Another holdover from the time of the Kings, the Drishog is an inherited position, passed down through a hobbit family. From dli (law) and síog (young fairy, i.e. hobbit). The Law-Hobbit.
- Mard. An old word for “table”, refers to the large old table in the hearing room of the Prancing Pony, and the official trials and other proceedings held there.
- celbwen. Kinsman-silver: from Elvish; a weregild.
- Banashanca. A Breelander, usually a woman, who maintains the old laws and ways established in Bree from before the time of the Kings.
- dinseth. A legal citizen of Breeland. From Welsh dinesydd.
- Loosethrall. A member of the Loosethralls, a society of hobbits in Staddle who are working to abolish thralldom (slavery); i.e. an abolitionist.
- Cogarchet. “Whisper-wood”. An area of the Chetwood where the Banashanca performs rituals. From Irish cogar, whisper, secret consultation.
- Sully Men. Migrant workers who form the lowest class of people in Breeland. From Irish siúil, walk, go.
I ended up writing one full mystery, “The Adventure of the Hidden Hobbit”, and getting most of the way through a second, “The Adventure of the Wild Hunt”. The second story gave me the chance to explore another aspect of Bree culture: the nursery rhymes. Tolkien had Frodo recite “The Man in the Moon Stayed Up Too Late”, an obvious ancestor to the English rhyme “The Cow Jumped Over the Moon”. The rhyme above is of course based on “Who Killed Cock Robin?” and refers to the last king of Arnor, Arvedui.
Once I finish the second story and have a chance to go back and revise the text, I’ll put it together as an ebook and make it available for free on my Patreon page, just like my Oz fanfic. I’ll update this post when it’s ready!
Axon Firings 